The Sin of Jealousy
by NinjaTerra
Summary: "All he could feel, all he could think about was the jealousy. The jealousy of what he didn't have. What he would never have. And it was killing him inside." Fimafeng - a mere servant of Aegir. Yet, a man who had recieved more praise than Loki ever will.


"_Why have you done this?" – Thor_

"_To prove to Father that I am a worthy son!" – Loki_

The Sin of Jealousy

Loud, joyous laughter rang clearly throughout the air of Asgard. A tall, merry looking man sat at a table surrounded by a large group of people, men and women alike. A magnificent feast was set out before them, loaded with delicious meats, ripe fruits, and rich ales all around. Every single person in attendance seemed to be smiling and laughing and enjoying themselves at such a grand event. Not one person was sullen, or sad, or unhappy. For, at this feast, all were merry. Looking across the table, it seemed as if all of Asgard had been invited to the wonderful banquet.

Well, all but one.

Loki, god of mischief and lies, stood alone outside of the house of Aegir. From where he lingered, he could here every word exchanged inside of the beautiful building. However, there was one conversation he was keenly focused on.

"So, All Father," a loud, joyful voice began, "where is that son of yours? Surely he did not turn down my invitation. I was hoping to share some of my fine ale with him today."

'_Son', _Loki quoted bitterly. _Not sons. Son. _Of course, the trickster god knew that the man was not talking about him. For, there was only one child of Odin whom people would speak so fondly of. Only one whose absence would ever be noticed.

"Thor is on a journey in the East," Odin stated in a fond tone, bringing his own cup of ale to his lips for a sip. Setting the drink down again, he continued, "I am sure he would have loved to come, though, Aegir. Your feasts are always quite a treat." Aegir laughed, deep and merrily.

"Of course. Always the adventurer, that one. Hopefully, next time he will be able to attend, though." Odin let out a soft chuckle as well.

"Yes. I think he would like that." Loki clenched his fists tightly at his sides. _Thor. Thor. It's always about Thor! Am I truly that much of a nuisance that I'm not even worthy to attend a simple banquet? Oh, but if _Thor _was here, everything would be perfect, huh? Yet, here I am, forgotten once more. _With a cry of anger, Loki spun on his heels and kicked over a nearby golden vase. The ornate object tumbled to the floor and shattered immediately on impact. The beautiful, gilded shards scattered across the floor, littering the ground around Loki's feet. The mischievous god paused for a moment, half expecting someone from inside the building to come and see what had happened, to shoo him away, as he knew he was not welcome there. However, no one came. They were all too busy enjoying themselves at the banquet to notice the clattering outside.

Sighing, Loki took a couple of deep breaths, hoping to calm the flame of anger and bitterness that burned hot in his chest. Clearing his mind, the man once again returned to his eavesdropping.

In all honesty, Loki didn't even know why he had decided to follow his father and the other citizens of Asgard to the ocean god's house. Maybe somewhere, in the back of his mind, there was a small hope that maybe, just maybe, someone would think to invite him in. That someone would notice him and not just scowl and turn away. Sometimes, Loki wished that he could be more like Thor. For once, he could be the hero, the one that everyone praised and looked up to. Thoughts like this always seeped into the god's head at random times, stirring up his hopes and imagination, leading him into a dream-like world so different than the one he lived in. However, these thoughts would all too soon be bashed. He was Loki. He was the god of trickery, the god with the silver tongue. He would never be anyone else. Just Loki. So, he would move on.

Listening in on the conversations inside the building, Loki again picked out the sound of his father's voice, this time filled with appreciation and praise.

"Dear Aegir, these servants of yours are amazing. I have never seen such talented, hard working men before." A similar tone of praise as well as pride laced the ocean god's voice as he replied.

"Yes, they truly are great men. Eldir is quite the cook, and Fimafeng never delays in obeying my orders. They are quite fine men, indeed." At Aegir's words, many of the other gods and goddesses also chimed in, continuing to praise the servants' good work.

_Servants, _Loki thought, unconsciously beginning to stir his internal flame once more. _They are only servants. They are no warriors. No sorcerers. They are not special in the least. _The god's body began to shake slightly, and his eyes blazed with a barely concealed rage. _How is it,_ he wondered, _that these _servants _are valued more than me? Am I not a son of Odin? Am I truly not worthy to be called an Asgardian? _Loki didn't understand how these mere underlings seemed to be valued so much more than him. Had he not tried hard to please his father? Sure, he was the god of mischief, but, in his mind, that was all it was. Mischief. Just simple pranks that gotten a bit too out of hand. But surely, Thor had made mistakes a well. So, why was it that he was the only one who was ever punished?

"Fimafeng," the god Aegir's voice broke through Loki's thoughts, causing his head to snap towards the doorway by which he stood outside of, "go and fetch us some more boar. I could not bear to let any of our guests leave here knowing that they were not completely satisfied. And, I dare say, I will not allow a single person to leave this table still hungry." Laughter broke out across the table at the god's words, while Fimafeng bowed low and whispered a barely audible, "As you wish, sir," and hurried off.

As the man made his way toward the door behind which Loki lurked, the trickster god could still hear Odin's continual praises of the servant coming from inside.

"I see what you mean, Aegir. A very polite and obedient servant, indeed." Loki's blood boiled as the guests continued to talk about Fimafeng and the other servant, Eldir, so fondly. By the time the doors had swung open and Fimafeng emerged to go fetch the food, Loki was seething. Jealousy. Oh, how he felt the jealousy. It raced through his veins, swam throughout his mind, danced across his skin, tangled itself in his senses, and burned dangerously in his bright green eyes. He was jealous. Jealous of the servant boy who had so easily obtained the one thing he had been working his whole life to receive: praise from the All Father.

Fimafeng did not seem to notice his presence as he walked out of the dining hall. The man turned down the hallway, his back facing Loki, when he stopped and looked down at his feet. "What…?" he wondered aloud as he nudged the shattered remains of the golden vase that Loki had smashed with the toe of his shoe. From where he watched silently, Loki glowered at the servant. All he could feel, all he could think about was the jealousy. The jealousy of what he didn't have. What he would never have. And it was killing him inside. The feeling burned away at his chest, consuming him until he was no longer even in control of himself.

Then, red filled his vision, and his mind went blank as it fell to his inner rage.

The next thing he knew, the servant was lying flat on the floor, his wide lifeless eyes staring blankly up toward the sky. An expression of pure surprise was etched across his face. Fimafeng was dead.

And Loki had killed him.

Suddenly, the raging jealousy dispersed, and Loki's eyes widened as he gazed down at the motionless man before him. Backing away slowly, the god shook his head vigorously, muttering the same single word over and over again.

"No…No…No. No! NO!" Loki's vision began to blur as hot tears streamed down his face, leaving wet tracks across his pale skin. _This is not happening, _he thought. _I…I… _Suddenly, Loki felt like he was going to be sick. He had just killed a man - a poor, simple, innocent man.

He was a monster.

A hand quickly flew to his mouth to prevent himself from crying out. _That's what I am, _Loki realized, eyes still wide. _I am truly a monster. _Who was he to wish for, pray for, his father's praises when he was so quick to act upon his own jealous rage? The god of mischief collapsed to his knees beside the corpse, his body shaking violently as he sobbed.

"I'm sorry," he muttered softly. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I am so, so sorry…" He repeated those words over and over again until they lost all meaning. Soon, they were just a false hope. A broken man begging for forgiveness for something he knew could never be forgiven.

Eventually, Loki's voice trailed off, and he just sat there in silence, staring at the lifeless servant's body before him. Then, taking a deep breath and brushing the tears from his eyes, the god leaned forward and gently dragged the man's eyelids closed. Standing shakily, Loki turned toward the house of Aegir once more. He knew he couldn't stay for long. The inhabitants would soon notice the servant's absence and send someone to find him. By then, however, Loki would be gone.

As he turned to make his escape, the god glanced one last time at the dead man on the ground. There Fimafeng laid, eye closed, amid the shattered remains of a beautiful golden vase. Then, Loki turned his back on the scene and rushed hastily away from the house of the ocean god. Away from another one of his many mistakes.

Inside the building, the guests continued to drink, and laugh, and celebrate merrily.

Not knowing of the terrible crime that had taken place just outside their doors.

**This is my first ever time trying to write a story for Thor, so I'm sorry if it's not perfect. Loki is a very complex character to write, so I hope I did him some justice. Anyway, this story is based off of the tale in Norse mythology called the Murder of Fimafeng. It was actually pretty hard to write about considering there is absolutely nothing told about Fimafeng in Norse mythology other than he was a servant of the ocean god Aegir and, along with Eldir, was praised greatly for his good work (which made Loki extremely jealous) . Also, just so you all know, this story takes place before the movie timeline, so Loki doesn't know that he is a Jotun yet. Anywho, reviews are greatly appreciated. Also, if there is any part of the story that I might have gotten wrong or any ways that I could improve my writing of Loki (as I hope to possibly write more Thor fanfiction in the future), I would love to hear your input. Thanks for reading.**

**Review! **


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